Releasing Expectations

I don't know about you, but I have a lot of  dreams. Dreams for what type of house in which I will live. A tall skinny house with abstract architecture. Its roof has a one sided slant and its exterior is painted in two tones of grey with black trim. And a red door next to a stone wall. I have hopes for my business and how much money I want it to generate. Treasured thoughts of my son's bright future. I will do everything in my power to make them come true.

And with those dreams comes a host of expectations. Expectations for how hard I will work; how driven I will be; how outgoing. An assumption of what kind of mother I need to be - what kind of performance my son needs to achieve both academically and socially.  

Expectations can be powerful tools to help us create the lives we desire, to making our dreams come true. Without them our efforts would be unfocused. However some expectations will hinder us if we hold on to them.

Helpful or Hindering - What's the Difference?

Sorting through which of our expectations will help us and which ones we need to release. Ask yourself, what's the objective of each of your expectations. Sometimes expectations focus on how we achieve our goals. Others focus on how we assume we or others in our lives will behave and perform. And still others are about what we will achieve?

With an understanding of the purpose of our expectations, we need to look at how much we drive the success of having our expectations met. Examine each expectation. Which of them are within your control? Which can you make happen? Looking at my list, I can control what kind of house I choose to buy. I can hold out until I can afford it. I can wait until its available or have an architect design it for me. I can manage the kind of mother I am. I determine how hard I work, how long and how often.

If you're like me, you'll still have expectations on your list that you can't control. So we'll look for which of the leftovers we can influence. We may not be able to control the final outcome. but our actions can potentially influence the results we end up with. In my list, I may not be able to control how my son turn's out or what grades he earns. But I can influence his life through the environment I create. When it comes to my business, how hard I work, how driven I am, and the quality of work I produce won't guarantee my financial success, but they can swing the vote, so to speak, in my favor.

The final remaining expectations will be ones we can't control and have no ability to influence. For

instance, I can't control or really influence what my son chooses to do with his life. Providing a wide range of life experiences won't allow me to impact his choice, it only provides him with a lot more choice.

In transforming our dreams into reality, we need to spend the largest percentage of our time focusing on those things we can control. Those will give us the biggest bang for our buck. The remaining percentage of our time should be directed towards those expectations we can control. Those that we can't control or influence, we need to free ourselves from and release.

We need to take the advice of a quote I found on Facebook tonight, "I release all that blocks me from believing in my greatness." Those expectations we can't control or influence do just that when we fail to release them.