Saturday, May 9, 2015

Changes Personal Transformation

It’s been a long while since my last post here on the blog. A lot of that has had to do with yet another significant transition in my life, and processing my reactions and perceptions of what this would mean

For a long while, I’ve been pushing toward a vision of how my life should be and what it should look like. I saw myself pursuing my dream as an entrepreneur, dedicating myself to living out the belief that everyone has limitless potential, and being 100% committed to helping people unlock that potential.

Somehow I got caught up with thinking that that belief and dream needed me to honor it by being full-time employed in that space.

I’ve thrown a lot of my energy into building this business, and have developed such amazing relationships and seen life changing breakthroughs with clients. It’s been incredibly rewarding in a powerful, affirming way. But my pursuit of this full-time meant that I was chasing a specific way of meeting my goal, my dream. I was always trying to find new people and was farther than I wanted to be from being in a place where I could relax into a situation that felt secure and effective.

I was so focused on how I was going to achieve my dream that I wasn’t honoring its full intention. And, like so many others, I wasn’t secure in the basics of finances to feel truly free to pursue what I love.

One day several months back, reality came crashing down on me. I realized that my savings were depleted. My rent was due, and anxiety about health insurance for myself and my child was reaching a near-overwhelming place.

And like so many stories I’ve heard others share about how out of nowhere, an unexpected answer landed in their laps, hours after finding myself sitting in  this dark place, I received a phone call offering me a very good temp-to-hire position.

I had to grit my teeth and go back to a ‘day job’ and let go of the idea of pursuing life coaching full time.

I have quite a lot to say about what this meant for my mental state and what this meant for my image of myself and my dedication to my goals. I went through a month of feeling like I was forced onto a path I didn’t want. In fact, for a long while I wasn’t able to see just how happy and empowering the job was making me.

I’ll be writing more in upcoming posts, but what this change has actually meant is that I have clarified the difference between the path and the goal. I’ve come to realize that I don’t have to sacrifice any of my deep desires so long as I stay focused on why I’m pursuing the end goal, and clarifying the ways this can really be achieved.

So the short story is that I have found ‘day job’ employment that is empowering and positive. AND that I’ll be continuing my coaching work, but in a slightly different way. I will continue to meet one-on-one as a coach, but will start prioritizing groups and workshops (online and off), which will allow me to continue fostering personal transformation.

I’m going to keep choosing my dream, focusing on what made it the dream in the first place.

I hope you keep pursuing your dreams as well.

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