Finding the Positive

As I wrote in my last blog post, Changes Personal Transformation, I recently underwent a massive change in my path: I have returned to full-time work at a ‘day job’ and experienced all the mental turbulence of choosing that lifestyle after these past months of thinking my path was fundamentally meant to be about creating a business around life coaching.

I almost destructed this opportunity because I was stuck in a negative mentality, chasing my tail and feeling like I was sliding backward instead of pursuing my dream.

Two key ideas have taken shape based on this experience:

• Focus on the positive
• Recognize the difference between the path and the goal

The Positive

First: the positive. I was so stuck in a mentality that the job offer meant betraying my dreams that I almost walked away from the job. I felt like I either had to quit the day job or I had to quit my coaching business and give up on my dreams.

That trapped, either/or mentality, stopped me from seeing the positive in my situation.

The day job provided a sense of security that shored up the rest of my time and mental energy. I had been worrying about rent, bills, and the fundamental truth that you can’t reasonably have a kid without health insurance.

The job lifted those worries from my mind. I knew the basics were taken care of. I was freed to be creative and compassionate because I wasn’t trapped in anxiety and insecurity.

The day job also provided a new and positive community. This was difficult for me to see for a little while, when I was trapped in a mentality that the job meant a betrayal of my own values. But when I really looked around at my situation, I began to see positive coworkers, compassionate management, and a real sense of community. The job was a good place to be.

Recognizing the Difference Between the Path and the Goal

Knowing your dream is essential to effectively pursuing it. I knew my dream was to help people reach their full potential. I knew that with 100% conviction. That is my goal.

But that doesn’t have to be every aspect of my daily path.

The job has clarified my purpose. It’s been a catalyst to boil down what I want into short-term steps. This process hasn’t been about paring down or weakening my dreams—it’s been about finding the perfect fit. By focusing and reframing the choices in my immediate path, I’ve discovered what I actually wanted.

This has moved me away from pursuing a stereotypical coaching business model to examining my skills and desires to create the dream I actually want.

How I got there

Interestingly, I couldn’t pull myself into positive thinking on my own. I knew I needed to get there—I’ve advised so many people to do this, after all! But somehow I couldn’t see what was good about my situation.

It took a combination of personal friends and the treasured advice of a life/business coach of my own to see the value of the path I’d found.

The biggest message I received, once they helped me get there, is that you can’t see opportunity if you’re focused on negatives.

Finding the positive has meant that this transformation has been an enormous positive for both my business and my immediate path. I know I’m right where I need to be. And thank goodness for that.